Sassy

A few years into my marriage my father in law asked my husband if I was still "sassy". I'm not sure how I felt about that, but I don't think that I was offended as I probably was supposed to be. I was actually a little proud.
It's perky sounding. I like it. A lot. I guess that I am an oddball.
It sounds like someone who will stand up for others. Someone who will not back down.
I find that women often feel like they should always make others happy no matter what. Hate to break the norm, but that is silly. It's plain stupid.
We are people. Different than men, yes, but not able to make all right in the world for all whom we love. But we try. Really, desperately try. Mothers are always trying to be mother of the year. Trying to be the pleasing wife. Blaming themselves for when things don't go right. And sometimes, frankly we are right.
But, I contend that we cause more damage by trying to do it all than we would if we stood up and did what we are made to do and not EVERYTHING. And I think that we need to learn that love is as much about letting go as it is holding on.
Sometimes we so get our needs met by being needed that we foster our family's dependence on us for everything. It makes us look good. Makes us feel good. And it's dangerous. Better to foster dependence on God and on learning to make their own decisions. And applauding them for doing it.
It's nicer feeling to get the kudos for having done it all. However, passing on the kudos to others, to our family members, by making them able to function without us is even better.
Sometimes being sassy is a really good thing. It means standing up and saying that how things are isn't necessarily how they should be.
Sassy is freeing.
And sometimes painful. I am not in the "in" crowd. I don't have the perfect house. I make decent but not gourmet meals. I am just me. I gave up the race a long time ago. Or maybe I never joined it. It's not easy. My kids don't get everything. And I don't let them blame me for all of their troubles. Natural consequences are ok if you are sassy but not so good if everything depends on how things LOOK. My kids know that I am not embarrassed to tell a teacher "I won't be bringing that in for..........fill in name..........because I have brought two assignments already this year and I reminded him/her to get it. Period. No argument.
Sassy is not heartless. It is playful as well as spunky. Sassy is freeing.
I know. The timid mouse mom is the one we all aspire to be. Myself included at times. Oh, and the classroom helper. And the one who hand makes costumes. And the one who never misses a game. or concert. or play. or conference. or awards ceremony. or race. or honor. The one who is always so sweet. Never raises her voice. Has a perfect house. Never has piles. of mail. of laundry. of anything. Who always knows what is in each container in the ultra clean fridge.
I'm not her. I try at times. But I am learning..........I am this one person. I am not a crowd of people. I should do what I do and do it well. And not apologize for who I am not.
Not meaning that I shouldn't grow. or change the sheets. or clean under the bed. or wash out the refrigerator drawers. even if i don't like it.
I am not able to do it all. I just have to do what is available to me each day. Writing. Encouraging. Dreaming. Hoping. Cooking. Painting. I do lots of things well. I love lots of things. But I tend to get down on myself because I don't do it ALL.
But I'm going to remind myself of that sassy girl. I'm going to remember to live free and full of life. I'm going to do well what it is that I do best.
You do the same. And enjoy. Don't keep worrying what everyone else is doing.
blessings,
rhonda