Ditto

Do you remember ditto machines? I do. They were messy. Purple ink. You had to put the original onto a special plastic paper and then make sure you put it on the machine right or all of your dittos wound up backwards. But, now that I've dated myself about when I began to teach, you can all feel better about yourselves and how old you are.
Ditto machines didn't make anything new. They replicated what had already been made. In a not so pretty, not so legible fashion. But, they were a cheap, useful device to make worksheets or study sheets for students.
Strangely, the word ditto has hung around. Lost it's heritage to the newer generations. They know it simply as the word that means, "me too." Or "whatever you said to me I am saying to you."
As in, "I love you." And the response is, "ditto." Somehow it is a little less than fulfilling. It's kind of like those old ditto papers......they lose something that the original had. They didn't seem fresh and nice. They seemed second best.
I know it's because I'm a work snob. Or freak. Well, no maybe not. I'm a communication freak. A communication snob. I like to see the message get transmitted and received. Back and forth. Heart to heart.
And somehow, "ditto," is less than satisfactory. Along with, "I love you." "Me too."
It was much more satisfying when my children were little and we played the game. "I love you."
"Well, I love you bunches."
"Well, I love you as much as sand on the beach."
"Yeah, well I love you more than the sky is high."
"Oh yeah, well I love you more than there are stars in all of the galaxies anywhere."
You get the idea. So, somehow after such deep and poetic dialogues of love, "ditto" falls quite short.
But, sadly, some people aren't even bothering to get out the first I love you. Say it. Say it aloud. Mean it. Not just to your sweetie pie. Not just to your kids. Tell people that they are loved. By you. That you mean it. There are lots of kinds of love. Lots of different relationships of love. We NEED love. We need to hear how much we are loved. We need to tell people that they are loved.
And when someone says they love you, you don't have to say it back. But you can. Or you can say nothing. There really are not requirements. But I have one little request. Give them more than a poor copy of what they just gave you. Don't just plop their own message back at them. If someone tells you that they love you, that means something. It's hard for a lot of people to get those words out. Savor it. Let it seep in. Let it mean something.
And when you want to tell them that they are loved, use your words. Make sure they get the opportunity to savor it too. To feel the joy and acceptance and glee that someone sees them and loves them. Make the effort to tell people.
Some of you are good. I get mail from Marilyn telling me that she loves me. It never fails to make me cry. Some of you give the world's best hugs and say that you love me. Warms me to my toenails. I've even known people to shout it out in public so that I'd be sure to know that I was important even in front of other people. I've had balloons that said so. Cards. Emails. But, really, frankly, "I love you, " has fallen on hard times.
Let's refresh it. Not with triteness. But with deep and meaningful ways of telling people often and creatively that we love them. We live in a world full of food and stimulation and yet starving in the thing we crave most desperately. Knowing that we are loved. I mean, maybe we know it. But we want to FEEL it. If you are a guy, just stop here because you are thinking that this is weird.
Make it a point. Go overboard. I mean, how can you really go overboard letting people you know and love that you care? Say it regularly. Tell them why. Write them letters. Or emails. Or send a flower with a little note. I'm not talking romance here at all. I am talking ALL relationships. Lucy Swindoll says to celebrate your friends. Do lots of things. Be extravagant with letting them know that you care. I am with her.
By the way,
I love you.
blessings,
rhonda