Body Image

Guys know the rule. There is no way to win when the question is regarding a woman's looks or her weight. The smart ones learn early on to skirt the issue. The slower ones make jokes and tease about weight. The genius ones take the initiative and make her feel lovely.........even when they don't want anything.
When a woman asks if something makes her rear look big she is feeling insecure. It's the feeling that you'll be out in public and someone will make a comment to a friend "look at the size of that derriere, you could use it for advertising." Don't lie. Some pants don't flatter. Friends don't let friends wear the jeans with the pockets the size of a package of gum. I mean, who doesn't have big cheeks in comparison to that?
If she is feeling conscious of her belly, women do all kinds of things. Bigger shirts. Longer shirts. Dresses. Loose clothes. Tighter clothes. It's like the never ending battle to feel at peace with the fact that you are no longer in your 20's. But, then, who wants to be? I've given birth to five, big, healthy children. I am not skinny. Ah. But then there are those women. You know the ones.....in their fifties after having had a dozen kids and they are buff and look 35. Sigh. They just make the rest of us look bad.
And then the tragedy occurs. Those once firm places become dangly and rather squishy. It's like everything droops some. I've heard that those upper arms will firm right up in less than a month. But then, who would the kids laugh at when we wave good bye?
Body image is difficult in middle age. But that's not what's disturbing me. What disturbs me is how worried children are about their looks. Their weight. Their beauty factor. It's sad. Every little girl should get to be a princess and FEEL like a princess when she is young. Some are large. Some are small. Some are endowed. Some are flat chested until.......well, until forever. But they should have a time in life where they are free from the pain of wondering how they measure up.
I love seeing Eastern Europeans at pools and places. Body image is so different. I've seen really large women in bikinis. Laughing. Having fun. Not hiding in a towel. Not hiding at all. I wish it were so in our country.
I really wish that we would get past the super model mentality. Not just for my kinda flabby body's sake, but mostly for the sake of our kids. They need to be HEALTHY, not skinny. not pretty. not handsome. They need to be full of character. They need to be wise. The need to exercise for their health and lifestyle, not so that they will have a more acceptable dress size.
I love the variety of looks in the world. Body sizes and body shapes and body looks. I love how people smile differently. Love how they choose different hairstyles. Love the different colors. But I mostly love it when they walk and live confidently.
We live in a culture where telling someone they look good is immediately followed by the response of how bad they look, how they've gained a few pounds or some other rubbish. Hardly anyone says, "why, thank you. I'm feeling good too."
Come on ladies, let's start a new trend. Let's choose to be comfortable in the bodies we are given. Thick hair. Thin hair. No hair. Smooth. Wrinkled. Gray. Colored. Natural. Skinny. Emaciated. Pudgy. Chubby. Jiggly. Let's be the ones who teach the next generation what life is REALLY about. It's not about how you look. It's not about what you wear. It's not about what the scale says. It's about WHO you are and what you DO with it. It's about lives that you touch. It's about being a good friend.
Really, all of the time at the gym or in front of the mirror is fine.......as long as you remember who you are and what you really mean in the world. Your purpose is not to be a knick knack. It's so much more than that. And frankly, obsessing over how you look and about all of your flaws just make people who REALLY have big flaws, uncomfortable. Change your focus. You can still look good. Or not. Just remember whose you are. And look for whom you can serve.
blessings,
rhonda