Instruction

It's kind of funny in a weird, not a haha, kind of way. Somewhere in our culture, instruction has become perceived as bad. Children feel as if they get to make their own decisions. Get to choose their bedtime. Whether to take a bath. Whether to eat. Whether to sit at the table with the family. Whether to speak kindly. Whether to go to school. Whether to come home at a decent hour. Whether to do homework. Whether to help an older neighbor with the groceries. Whether to help clean out the garage. Whether to keep up with the dishes or cleaning responsibilities.
Instruction has fallen on bad times. Instruction is not punishment. Instruction is teaching. It is guiding. It is showing how to live. Instruction is what the Proverbs are. "If you live in this way, this is what will most likely happen, but if you choose to live another way, this is probably what will happen instead." It is guidance from someone who has gone before. Someone who has lived a little bit more.
Instruction used to come from Sunday School Teachers, teachers, pastors, elderly people in the neighborhood, aunts, uncles, grandparents, a boss at work AND parents. Now, even parents seem to question their role in instructing. Children need instruction. WE need instruction. The Bible even says that God reproves us BECAUSE He loves us. If we love the kids of our world, we will take the time to give instruction.
They deserve us to explain how the world works. If you don't do a job, you get fired. If you are disprespectful, you get fired. If you don't show up, you get fired. The grown up world hasn't changed much. It is still not very forgiving if you don't achieve a certain level of maturity. The idea that it's someone else's fault because they didn't get you up to go to work is not going to fly.
But parents and the adults in children's lives today are allowing them to grow up in "freedom".
Too much freedom imprisons them. It makes them unable to grow up and fly in the world that they are going to have to live in.
Kids haven't changed much. Same story as ever. "If you loved me, you'd let me........." "John and Pete are going, why won't you let me go?" "I was going to do that, but I forgot."
The problem is that the ADULTS have changed. In school, we never ever would have talked back in the middle of class. It simply wasn't done. Now, it's expected. They make crass jokes and make fun of the teachers. And the teachers? They LAUGH. AAAAaaaarrrrrgggghhh. This DOES NOT help my children in the future.
Adults now seem to have reversed the norm. They crave the acceptance and approval of the children. The children used to crave the respect and approval of the adults. We have made it upside down.
It's killing our kids. Literally. Killing their future hopes. Killing their work ethic. Killing their ability to show empathy. Killing their motivation to DO anything anyone says. Killing them by forcing them to look in the wrong places to find someone or something to respect and look up to.
Our job is not to be pals of the youngsters in our lives. That doesn't mean we should be jerks either. But we should be honest. We should be truthful. We should instruct. We should let them and encourage them to experiences so that they can succeed.........and fail. And we shouldn't take credit for either. But we should be there to explain to them why they succeeded or why they failed.
We should direct.
And, as parents, when children fail to take instruction, we should discipline. Help them get back on the path. Just like you held their bikes upright and kept them from going into the ditch when they were learning to ride a bike, you have to teach them how to walk through life. It's your job. Even when it makes you unpopular. Even when you have to follow through five hundred times. Even when you are weary.
And those of you who aren't their parents, even though our culture says it isn't any of your business, I disagree. I disagree wholeheartedly. The kids need 20 people or more in their lives helping them, loving them, instructing, leading, guiding, praying for, being there for, teaching them skills.
Don't let instruction go out of vogue because some people behave as if it's abusive. Unfair. Unkind.
What is unkind is letting a child of any age practically beg for the instruction by blowing off adults. Getting more and more wild. More and more rebellious. They keep looking for someone who will say, "this is the way, walk in it." And mean it. And steer when they are not quite ready yet. And run behind holding on. And then letting go. And then picking them up when they fall. And then putting them back on and starting the process all over again. They NEED it like they need breath.
Don't let them down. Meet their unspoken need. Even when it makes you unpopular. Give kids instruction. Share wisdom. Share love. Guide. Otherwise, to them, though they act as if they like making their own way, they really feel like you have given up on them.
blessings,
rhonda