Who Am I?

Do you ever ask yourself this question? Who am I? Not "what do I do for other people?" But really, when it all comes down to it, who am I? No matter where I live or my socioeconomic status. No matter my family makeup. Who am I? At night when I'm all alone. Or when I'm in a store. Or when I am riding in my car, which goodness knows I do a lot of.
I don't just want to be perceived to be "nice." That is so wishy washy. And while I like being John's wife and the mom of Kenneth, Steph, Joe, Jake, Ike, Ish and Anna, I don't want it to be what defines me. Oh, and don't forget Gabey Baby. He's a doll. But he's a grandbaby......that's a whole other story.
I am a child of God. Loved. Redeemed. Made whole. Completely accepted. And yet still very human. Not afraid to make mistakes. I want to be a truth speaker. It is my gift, but I tend to shy away from it, especially these days, I am in a hiding to be safe mode. I want to be courageous. I think it's who I am. Take reasonable risks. Try new things. I am a rather shy person. I love being here on a computer.
And yet, I like interaction........but hate small talk. Yes, I think I'm rather complex. Most people think I'm goofy. Sometimes I am. Or obnoxious. That usually happens when I am trying to be something I am not. Which, unfortunately, seems to be often lately. I am a seeker. A grower. I like learning. I like to read a whole lot. And write. And tutoring is pretty fun too. I am a natural teacher. Too bad nobody is paying me to do so these days.:) I am a lover of realness in people. I despise meanness. Wholeheartedly. I am a protector of those I perceive need protecting.....even if they are strong. Sometimes that is not a good thing. Sometimes it annoys people.
I am a giver. I like to give gifts and other things. I like to cook for the people that come to my home. I am generally hospitable. I serve, but I am not really a servant. I choose to serve because I know how good it feels to do something for someone else. I like adventure. I am a person who needs time to reflect. No, I mean, I need it. Without it, I get grouchy. I don't like to put people in boxes, but I do like to figure out how individuals work. I love to observe people. I totally could have been a counselor except for the part where the weight of so many cares would have to go home with me, and go to my prayer life and would consume my mind. I am incredibly sensitive. I try hard not to be, but I am.
Who am I? I am a woman. I am full of contradictions. I am loyal. Truly loyal. I am trustworthy to the very best of my ability. I am a genuine lover of those I care about. I mean, wholehearted to the tips of my toes.
Well, that's about it. Oh, and why use two words when there are so many good ones to use?
blessings,
rhonda