When Friends Arrive

Today I was tired. I've been sick for most of the last four days. I keep thinking that I'm better, but then, after I've been up for about an hour, all I can think about is lying down and resting. I have slept more this four days than I probably usually sleep in a week. And today was Sunday. Sunday is different at our house. It has been for years. I kidded myself this morning that I would get home and cook and lay down. My family would clean the kitchen and I would snooze. Yeah, right. Fantasy is really fun, isn't it? I'm thinking that my fantasy life is way different than my husband's. :)

Then a friend texted that she was coming over and some other friends. I asked my sweet husband and he said great. So, we were off and running. Homemade lasagna, salad, pan fried garlic toast, green beans, lemonade. It was only 13 today. We all lamented those who were missing. Less than 19 and we pretty much feel like it's a small family gathering. I know, weird in our society. We ate and ate. The lasagna was pretty good, I thought. My own homemade sauce. Pretty yummy. Did I mention that we are pasta snobs? We all stayed at the table and visited. I was quiet but enjoying. Everyone visiting. Laughing.

Then came the baseball game. I lounged on the porch bed with a couple of other moms. I was not up to being out in the yard this day. But I so enjoyed the kids playing. Hearing them joke and trash talk and tease and encourage. Then the coffee and brownies and ice cream bars. Mmmm.

We headed inside to play Balderdash. We laughed. Who can possibly not laugh when writing a definition to the word "butwink"? My thirteen year old son was playing. He could hardly contain himself. Dance, dance revolution was going on in the other room. My daughter and her friend were organizing her room. A first in a very long time. I hired the friend as a consultant to keep from battling......smart, huh? It got done, they were proud and I didn't have to throw a fit. I was productive without even doing anything. Gotta love that.

Then some people were on to leftovers and seconds on icecream. And hide and seek in the dark began. It sure gets dark early these days. The game brought loads of laughter and giggling and stories of a mouse being on someone's foot or a spider occupying a hiding space. Some of us were in the house playing Big Boggle.

It was after 10:30 when things wound down. People went home. My husband went to work to get some things done. I poured a glass of wine and grabbed my computer to blog for the first time in several days. And now, here on my bed, laptop warm on my lap, I think how nervous I was when I knew how bad I felt and how I had "company" coming. A little stressed. Not because of the people, but because I knew that I would suck at being a hostess today. I knew that my weakness would draw attention. I hate that.

But today was the best kind of day. It's the day when friends arrive. It's not about entertaining. It's about hospitality. About being willing to be vulnerable and let people into your life. It's about being a place where there is tradition and fun and an expectation that all are welcome anytime. I have always desired that of our home. For our kids. For their friends. For family friends. For people who need a place. My grandparents always made a big lunch and then went to church and figured out who all would be coming home. It was always a crowd. And the crowd stayed. The crowd had no plans. There were no time constraints. I love that. That is how we have things at our home. Parties, as people will tell you, run on south american type of schedules. We all arrive after church and don't eat until perhaps three. Then we just kind of play it by ear. It's always fun. It's always fulfilling. Even on sick days. Tired days. Grumpy days. It makes life worth showing up for.

Too many people have no place to hang out anymore. That's sad. Hospitality isn't hard. Our dishes are chipped. Our glasses don't match. We make do with whatever we have. It's not a big deal. I used to have a fit every time we were having company. Now, I try to make sure there's a clean towel in the bathroom. I don't much worry about it. I just figure that how we live is how we live.

If you haven't tried it, be brave it is totally worth it. When friends arrive, the day totally changes direction and you find more energy and more excitement and more joy. It takes courage to start because our culture has totally gotten away from this kind of hospitality, but it is very satisfying. It reaches all the way to your soul and boosts you up. If I can leave any legacy to my children, it is the legacy of Sunday hospitality. Days set aside for family and friends. They are special. They are completely a gift to the one who hosts. So, get out there. Be the initiator of some old fashioned hospitality. You will be the one who reaps the joy.

blessings,

rhonda