I hope that your day was spectacularly wonderful. Mine was quite good. I got to spend it at the lake with a good crowd of teens. I think that there were three adults and ten teens.......well, alright, eight teens and two eleven and a half year olds. And some of the teens are kids who dress differently than me. Have haircuts that are really funky. They are kids who people look at on the street and wonder what they are up to. I wish that people could look past looks.:)
I have had a huge learning curve in this area. It's so easy not only to judge, but to judge falsely. To see the emo or indie and think that you have nothing in common. To be drawn to people who look like me and think we have more in common. But, I am learning a very good lesson. What people wear and how they style their hair and what body art they sport or don't sport do not determine their "niceness."
When we got to the lake today it was really lovely and fairly crowded. However, we spotted a picnic table by the water with plenty of space around for my blankies. Remember, I haven't been feeling well for what, five days or something insane. Anyway, we scoped out the spot and began hauling our gear over there. We are an interesting looking bunch. Geek, jock, indie, emo and any other title you can think of, all jumping out of a 15 passenger van and a mini van. It must look kind of weird to people. Ages from eleven to forties. All laughing and having a good time. We are family. We are friends. We hang together.
But I saw the look. The woman sitting directly east of us with her book and folding chair parked right in front of her really nice looking kayak. The look was less than welcoming. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that the reason our soda stayed so cold in the cooler was due in part to that look. We did not fit into her stereotype of "nice" people. Some of us had lip rings. Some had gauged ears. Some had kind of flabby bellies and white legs. Some were wearing black including ripped jeans. I tell you, really, we have a HUGE variety. Some of us look stuffy. Some look hip. Some look like trouble. But the thing I know is this: we are a nice group of people. We are good neighbors. We care about people. We stand up for one another. We've had to learn to work through things too. We don't always agree. Ok, we often don't agree. But I'll tell you, there's not a person in the group who wouldn't help me up if I fell down. That includes the kids who tagged along. Some of the ones who look the "roughest" are the kindest helpers.
We got looks through the afternoon. Cold looks. But she and her husband finally left. Without a word or a smile. Without commenting on what nice kids they were. They missed out. No, I'm not arrogant. I am just getting more savvy. I am learning that I have often missed out too. I frown and glare when I could include and smile. I have a sense that someone needs to be "good enough"......whatever that means. I hate it about myself. I mean, I do think that there are standards in the world. I do respect the law. I'm not talking about that kind of stuff. I'm just saying that somehow I get too wrapped up in the looks of the package and fail to see what's inside. Generally, most of the teens, look the same inside: nervous, wanting to please, trying to find their places in a world that is increasingly unfriendly to kids all while trying to be more and more grown up. It's hard. So many kids walking our streets who have no place to really call home.
We live in a relatively small city, but there are tons of teens who are just looking to be accepted right where they are. Wishing to sit down with people for a good meal. Hoping for a smile and a genuine greeting. They see through fake. I am learning to love this part of my family too. All of us different but all of us for each other.
By the way, you might have guessed, my family includes more than those who bear my name and live in my home. My family are those who are brought in by the people in my home or in my extended families homes. It's a wide and varied group and it never ceases to amaze me.
Don't bring any self righteousness to the table, they will peg you in a moment. Bring a genuine heart that listens and loves and is willing to meet the need of the moment: companionship and really, often, a meal. And then, as you get to know each other, you rub off on one another. In genuine relationship. It's fun. It's exciting. It's a little scary. But it beats a life lived in a boring same old same old kind of world. I choose this.
When you choose to open your home, you never know who you will entertain. I hear that some have entertained angels and been completely unaware of it. I'm pretty sure that I've met a few. And one of them may have had gauged ears and an emo style. Who knew?
blessings,
rhonda
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