Voice

In literature there is an element called "voice". It is the underlying substance of an author. It is what you hear about who the author is and how he feels about his subject. It's his word use. His style.
Voice is an important element. It brings life and originality to a piece. You can tell who wrote a piece sometimes just by the voice.
And in life, voice is important. Bringing to every situation who you are. Your gifts. Your talents. Your ideas.
But sometimes, our voices are silenced. Or sometimes, we forget what they sound like. Or we change them to make them sound like someone else's. Sometimes we just get quiet. Sometimes we choose to be silent. It's difficult. At best. Our voice is precious. It is our very own. Never to be duplicated.
And there are people who love our voices. And tell us so. There are others who tolerate it. Still others dislike it immensely. Not how I didn't say the word hate.;)
And we gauge how well we are doing by how people respond. And at times, we just give up. No matter our age or supposed maturity.
I know. I'm there. Not sure what my voice is supposed to be or how it should sound or what it should talk about or be silent about. I want to grow and spread my wings. I want to be open and share. But I also want to be a person that other people like ok. Not easy. Complex.
How in the world do we expect teenagers to figure this out? I'm 45 and it's way too much. But this thing I know.........living using our own unique voice with abandon and excitement every day means that we truly live. Though some don't even like us. Even then, maybe there is more joy in living than in pretending. We tell our kids that it's true. Tell them to be themselves. Tell them to use their voices.
So, why are we so easily silenced as adults? Why am I so easily troubled by using my voice? Who I am seems to be way out there. And that bothers me. Lack of confidence? Perhaps. But I think that it goes deeper. I think that as we become adults we learn that there are a few ways to get along in the world and if we don't then we lose. No friends. Not great jobs. Nobody to hang out with. But can we really be happy if we lose our voice anyway? What a conundrum.
The only solution is to live as we are. With our voice. And wait. Patiently. There will be those with whom our voices sing beautifully in great harmony. And we will hear and be heard.
Don't fear. It's there. Use your voice. Even if your voice is to be quiet. Or still. Or loud. Or different. Learn when your voice needs to be quiet. But not silenced. Learn how to be polite, but not at all costs.
Wait, maybe it is too complex. My voice often gets me in trouble. Makes people irritated or troubled. Even when I mean to be kind. And sometimes I hunker down in the shelter of silence. Look for alone time. Hide. But, honestly, though I need to be kind, I can't not write. I can't give it up without feeling like life itself has been changed. Altered. Diminished.
Use your voice. In love. In kindness. In gentleness. But use it. And then just keep living even if people don't want you to. It's who you are.
blessings,
rhonda