Unplugging

My three youngest children are the last ones on earth to be without cell phones. I know. They have told me. Often. My thought is that if everyone else has one then they don't need one because it's not like I leave them stranded alone on a desert island or at the school a few hours later than intended.....wellllll, actually, that second one could have happened. But never the desert island.
But, I do have a freshman in high school without a cell phone. And an 8th grader. And a sixth grader. And it makes me gleeful. NO, I'm not glorying in their discomfort, or in their being shunned or otherwise abused for not being up to par.
I am gleeful because they are being given the gift of freedom. They aren't available 24/7 to solve the world's problems with their friends. No school chums can stalk them or text them at all hours. They are free to sleep. They are free to play. They are free to be in a room with the other people who are in the room. It's a gift.
Having a cell phone is a convenience. And a huge stresser. Life was easier when we were unavailable sometimes. When the world could live if people could not be reached in an instant. Kids have to solve every relational issue RIGHT NOW......no matter if they should be in school or sports or music lessons or even sleeping. There is no delayed gratification. No patience. No sleeping on it and getting back to it tomorrow.
When I was a kid (yes, by the way, it was the dark ages when I had to sit by the tv in the morning and wait for the stations to start broadcasting shows because I got up too early) I could get "lost" in a field or a walk to the park. If someone was being a pain, we left them until later when they came around and wanted to play nice. We had to talk face to face. Or on a corded telephone where everyone could hear what we were saying. And NOBODY would ever have dreamed of calling our house after 10pm. EVER. It just wasn't done. When I went to bed I was allowed to have a full night's sleep without any teen/adolescent worries or dramas. Well, except for the ones still running through my mind. But, in my room alone, it was safe from all of that crud.
Not so anymore. Kids are bombarded incessantly with problems, pains, traumas and relational conundrums. They can't focus on anything else because the people in those phones are incessantly demanding their full attention.......or at least partial attention. Tried to have a conversation with a teen lately? They check their phones ever 20 seconds. Literally. And if it's not with them, you would think that they were being asked to prance naked through the school cafeteria carrying an umbrella singing "Feeling Groovy".
It's time that adults take note of the pain in the lives of children. They just CAN'T say no to their friends........and they have a hundred. So, take the time to talk with them. And let them know that you aren't mad at them. That you want to give them a gift. A gift of a good night's sleep. An uninterrupted meal sometimes. A talk with their grandma.
Unplug them. Put their phone away FOR them. At night. Whenever you note that it is causing undue stress and pain. Be the BAD guy. Their friends will hate you. Kinda. They might hate you too. But it's still a gift. The best gift. Time to be peaceful. Time to think. Time to grow. Time to just be.
I turn my phone off sometimes. Drives people crazy. I leave it on at night.......after all, I have a lot of kids and friends and I wouldn't want them to have an EMERGENCY in the middle of the night and not be available. But, frankly, I'm old and people don't call me when it's too late. Unless there's REALLY a need. No, I turn off my phone when I need to let my mind and heart wander. When I need time to breathe and not answer to the whole world. It's remarkably rejuvenating.
blessings,
rhonda