Playing

Playing is the work of preschoolers. To them, building a block tower or coloring a picture or playing with dolls is learning.........it's what makes them learn how to do things. But, as we all grow up, somehow we change the rules and we make it that work is the bad stuff and play is the good stuff.
As usual, I want to challenge that misconception. Sometimes labor is icky. But, honestly, a lot of work seems like play if it's right for you.
When I say it seems like play, I mean that it is pleasure inducing. It maintains your attention. It is not a drudgery. It's the thing that speaks to the deepest part of who you are. It's what you were made to do. And, sometimes, you can even get paid to do it. That's the sweetest deal of all.
We make a mistake with kids. We always ask them what they are going to be when they grow up. We look at the available vocational options. We research what makes the most money. But, as I walk along raising these marvelous people......or, more likely, being raised by these marvelous people........I learn that those ideas are off. What we should be asking is "who are you? What makes you soar? What keeps your attention? What delights you?"
When we ask the right questions, we take kids, and other people who are seeking purpose in life, from looking at the thousands of options and the daunting expectations to a place of comfort. Who are you?
Do you love being with children? What about the elderly? Do you like being in front of people or behind the scenes? How do you cope with stress? Do you need a deadline to get work done? Do you work well when having to be self-motivated? Are you a night person or a morning person? What absolutely fascinates you? How do you feel when someone yells at you? Are you athletic? Are you musical? What kind of music? What instruments?
As we ask these questions, first of ourselves and then of our loved younger counterparts, we find a refreshing change. Suddenly our play becomes our future "work" goal. The things that define us and bring us joy are the things that we are seeking to do as adults. And you know what? It can change and evolve over time. We can learn new skills. We can move from making underwater baskets to crocheting in the rain.
The thing is that work IS a big decision. It is a daunting choice. But if we take things that we love and mix it with our career, then it feels more like play. It is like wearing clothes that fit us style wise as well as size wise.
I like kids. I like being in a professional environment. I like schools. I like seeing kids grow and change. So, teaching is a good fit for me. Though not every day is sunshine and lollipops. Those other days you just remind yourself that you ARE getting a paycheck.
What about you? What about the kids you love? Have you pushed them to be things that aren't a good fit? Do they seem awkward and uncomfortable in the avenues they are traveling. Maybe it's time to remind them that you are proud of WHO they are and not of WHAT job they do. Maybe taking off the pressure of performing will give them time to look at what really gets them jazzed.
I struggle when I see kids being forced to go to business school because "it's practical". Or being told that they will only receive fincancial help from their parents if they choose a traditional major. Some kids belong at the police academy, not Stanford. Some belong teaching aerobics. Some should be preachers. Or camp counselors. Some should be pursuing constant activity in the art world. Some should be fashion consultants. Some should be closet organizers.
The thing is that we live in a country where you can do just about anything and make it a business. It's just that we get caught up in the whole competition of who's doing what.
I do believe that kids should be as prepared as possible to go to college when in high school because then they can make that choice. I also believe that college gives a few years to grow up before entering the work place as adults. But, some kids would be miserable if forced to go into academia for yet another four years. But, on the other hand, would be content working at a coffee shop while enjoying doing music on the side.
I had a sister who got a four year degree and then chose to work cleaning houses because it afforded her the opportunity to keep her own schedule and to travel. She loved it. She got her degree in art and then went and did what she wanted. Is she successful? I think so. But some people would ask where the job security is. My answer is that none of us ever have job security and if we think we do........we live an illusion.
Watch your kids. Watch them playing. Watch yourself. Your friends. What we play is who we are. What brings us pleasure has a lot to do with our overall sense of well being.
Take the time to figure out those things and the career thing will fall into place. And your relationships with those youngers will be so much smoother and richer.
blessings,
rhonda