Self Care

The words all women long to hear........"just take care of yourself." I mean, for many of us, our truest and deepest fantasy is a week away at a beach in the middle of nowhere. With books. Movies. Beach towels provided. Meals delivered. Alone. I know, I know, UNACCEPTABLE. It brings our guilt out in full force. Imagine, wanting time to only think about myself. I shudder just voicing the thoughts aloud. We have been well trained not to want for ourselves. Not without guilt. It varies in it's form, but it seems to be something we struggle with as a gender.
So, counselors and therapists tell us to engage in "self-care". Boy, it's hard.
It's hard for me to say what I need. Well, actually, when I say what I need, it's hard to accept that it can bother people and that can be ok. Not that I have to be mean spirited, but I am allowed to have feelings and needs. I am allowed to think what I think. Even if I'm not right. Even if I'm misunderstood. Even if I am completely off base. I am allowed.
But the problem is giving myself permission. And then, when I do give myself permission, I back off of it when people respond poorly. Always afraid to hurt others.
What about you?
I worry that I'm being selfish. Being unkind.
But I am learning. I am really learning. Hope there's not a test because I need more practice.
But what I'm learning is that the best way to get this lesson imbedded in our hearts is to get our friends and loved ones to do it. Remind them. See them. Give them permission. It's quite the gift. In so doing, it will raise your own awareness.
Take a day off now and then. Stay in bed. Take a hike. Read a book. Go somewhere you want to. Do something with a friend. Don't check in. Be unavailable.
Beware, when you need things there are sometimes crises and it's not a bad habit to take care of others too. Just not at the expense of yourself all of the time. Self care isn't about learning to be selfish. It's about learning to love yourself as you love others.........because honestly, until you learn to love yourself this way, you'll never REALLY be able to love others.
Enjoy the journey. I know that I am.
blessings,
AND, i really love you my friends who walk this journey with me.
rhonda