IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK????

Obviously it is. Or I wouldn't have to be asking the question. Or maybe it's not and it's just that somehow our culture has allowed too much permissiveness and privileges without responsibility. I seem to have way too high of expectations for my children. So, maybe it's not about is it too much to ask but more "is it too much to expect?"
Have raised these kids since they were preschoolers to do certain things. Every morning they get up, get dressed, comb hair, eat, brush teeth. Every afternoon there are things to be done. Each has a "chore" and everyone is asked to do something to "help" around the house every day. Also, they are asked to do something for them; something like running, walking shooting hoops.......exercisey good. Then, also they get to read or play a game or something. I don't want the tv on all afternoon. Or video games. I want them to be out living. Half the time you'd think that I was killing them........the other half they are glad.
But then, when it's all said and done, I don't mind that they watch tv. Or veg with a book. Or sit in a bedroom that is kind of messy. I mean to say that what I am trying to teach my kids is that they have certain responsibilities in the world. Without being asked. They should notice AND take care of the dishes or forwarding the laundry or vaccuuming just because they live in a house. Just because they respect the other people in their house. They should learn to force themselves to go do something for themselves because it's a good habit for THEM when they are grown..........to get away from work or brain sucking activities for awhile.
But, going back to work is reminding me that it's a lot to expect. Not a lot to ask. When I'm here, I ask. They comply. When I'm not, I still expect, but they have to REMEMBER. They have to choose. And that's hard.
And sometimes I wonder, "is it too much to expect." And maybe it is a lot. But I have realized that it's not too much. Because it's not for controlling or perfection reasons. It is for the sake of training. It is so that they will hone their skills and become people who transition more easily to their own, grown-up lives. It's because I care about them. About their futures.
It's not easy. I care HOW they do the things too. No just dumping some comet in the toilet and flushing. No scooping the crumbs onto the floor. No leaving clothes thrown on the couch in a pile. It's not enough to ACT like you did it. It needs to be done in good faith. It deals with character. I want them to be proud of who they are. I think that having responsibilities makes them look more closely at who they are becoming.
But, really, tell me, is it too much to expect?
Must not be. Cuz they are sure doing well. Oh, they falter, stumble, and sometimes don't even want to, but they keep doing it anyway. They keep trying. And growing. And learning. And that's what it's all about. It's not really about the perfection of the things that are done, it's about WHO THEY WILL BE. And that is MY huge job in life..........to help them grow, become, learn, be challenged, be leaned on, be trusted, be, dare I say? EXPECTED TO BE CONSTANTLY AND BLESSEDLY MORE MATURE.
That's my job. Day to day. No matter how much sleep I get. No matter how much I have to do. No matter how tired I am. Because that's how I GROW CONSTANTLY AND MORE BLESSEDLY WHO I AM SUPPOSED TO BE.
It's a win-win. I commit to do my job and it is to make them commit to do their job.
And, bottom line, we love each other. Oodles. So proud of them. They are the Ice to my Cream.
blessings,
rhonda