Whales, cows, elephants pigs. What do they all have in common? They are the animals that women frequently refer to themselves as. I am as big as an elephant. I look like a whale in that suit. Often the term is "beached whale"......as if that is worse than a whale in the ocean? I eat like a pig when I'm having PMS. She's such a cow. I'm not sure if it's just our culture or not. Not sure what got us to thinking that we should constantly ridicule ourselves. Saying nice things shouldn't just be about other people. Being positive and kind should start toward yourself.
If you can't love you, how can you really love the people around you? If you are constantly berating yourself and tearing yourself down then won't it stand to reason that in your mind you are doing the same to the people around you?
Now, I'm not discounting that bloated nasty feeling that comes to all women until they blessedly have made it to the other side of menopause. But do we really want to spend 2/3's to 3/4 's of our lives belittling ourselves for something we can't really change? Although, if you've never tried pamprin......:) Or that huge feeling that comes when you look in the mirror when you are 8 months pregnant and it's not just the belly. I mean, really, I gained 50+ pounds with each kid. Sure, they were big babies........but not record winners. So, it wasn't all in my belly.
I know what it feels like when the jeans won't quite fit right around the belly....and when you get them done up, the belly overflows. I know how it is when your arms seem a little less firm. Ok, that's definitely an understatement. And the bosom doesn't quite rise and shine. Truly, I get it. I know how it is to try on clothes that accentuate the number of wrinkles around the middle, or on the thighs. I know how getting the biggest zit in the world makes you feel self conscious.
But, really, are we so shallow? I think that we are, but not by choice. I think that we have grown up in a culture where we make excuses and jokes to make ourselves feel better in an environment where "perfection" is unattainable naturally. Symmetry is not natural. Most bodies are not completely symmetrical. Balance isn't even the norm. Large rears do not always get compensated with large busts. Or vice versa. Long legs don't mean lean torso. Pretty hands don't mean pretty legs. The thing is that everyone has good qualities. But nobody is perfect.
That's how it is in every aspect of life, so why shouldn't it be true of our physical bodies?
It comes very hard to me when I hear the girls talking about other teen aged girls. Or about themselves. They are being trained wrong. By us. Who do not embrace the beauty of who we are and instead belittle our crooked nose and gray hair?
I'm not saying forego exercise or sit around in your curlers and burp. I'm not suggesting a ban of showering or make up or finger nail filing. I'm simply noting that we bad mouth ourselves too much. And other people hear what is wrong with them every time we do it. When I say, "I'm just fat as a pig," the woman nearby is immediately taking stock of her body. When I bemoan how my toes look or my eyebrows, every other woman is suddenly conscious of her physical frailties.
I like being around women who like who they are. Oh, I don't mean that they are unaware that they could use a walk or something, but they embrace the body that they have been given and aren't ashamed of it.
It's nearing swim suit season, you know. Just hover around the dressing rooms and have a good laugh. I'll probably be in one of them describing how my rear doesn't fill out the size of suit that I need to accommodate my belly. But really, does it matter? The most beautiful women are the ones who are wearing the suit anyway and enjoying the beach or pool with others. Who are courageous ones that fight against the societal garbage. The most beautiful women are the ones who can talk about bodily downfalls, but not berate themselves. The most beautiful women are not whining and complaining but laughing, loving and enjoying each and every moment. Strangely, how often do you notice another person's flaws? Especially when you are not noticing your own. When you are noticing your own, you are busy comparing to see how you measure up. Get rid of the measuring stick.
You are beautiful. You are one of a kind. You have birth marks and beauty marks. You have eyes that are close together or far apart. You have skin that is not clear and you are in your 40's. You have big feet and are only 5'2". It really doesn't matter, sweetie. You are unique. You have gifts and draws that nobody else has. Find those. Employ those. Enjoy those. Funny, while you are busy enjoying, you will become increasingly more beautiful.
Give a gift to those young women coming behind you. Share the good. See yourself through eyes that are thankful. Eyes that know what is really important. Laugh a lot. Have fun. Cuz no matter how good you look at any age........just give it 20 years. ;0.
blessings,
rhonda
No comments:
Post a Comment