Cooking

I really do like to cook. Well, except for when it's stressful and everyone is saying, "mom, what's for dinner." That's probably why I generally start in the morning. I guess that's as good a reason as any. Right now I have chili cooking from scratch. You know, not canned beans and such. It smells good so far.
I'm also making pork chops today with taters and gravy and some veggie. Maybe I should make rolls? I think I should. Yes, definitely.
Cooking makes sense in a world where other things don't always make sense. When you cook, certain things go togther, certain textures and spices and flavors. It's not really hard. It's fun. And ever so often it's fun to throw in the unexpected thing. Sweet in the spicy. Cooking is a lot like life. I think that it is my cold weather counter part to gardening.
What do you do that releases your stress? I paint. I cook. I read. I write. And I am learning that there are certain ways that I am wired that other people are not. I have spent an awful lot of years trying to be re-wired. It just doesn't work. I don't have the ability to make myself into something new. I came with certain things that are unchangeable on the inside. I can cover them up or try to live differently, but in the end, I am miserable. That's how it works with passions, dreams, hopes and personality. Those things don't really change. They morph through time.......like the cloud I saw that change from a plane, to a sphinx, to a rabbit, to a dolphin all in the time I sat at a stoplight. But, it was still the same cloud. It looked different, but it had the same purpose it had before.
People are like that. At least, I am. Deep inside we are something. Lots of things, usually. Strangely almost everyone spends most of their childhood and adulthood learning to be like everyone else. Not a good thing in my view. It makes for a rather bland, boring, humdrum world. It also, and this is important for you to hear.......makes unhappy, unkind, mean people. When people try to be what they are not, it wears on them. Body and mind. It's never ending. There's never down time. They know that they are always one step away from not being what is expected because they have to be on high alert all of the time.
I know. I've lived like this. It's not satisfying. It robs you. It steals from those who know you. I know who I am now. I also know who I am not. It doesn't mean to just say, I'm selfish, so too bad. Those aren't the things I'm talking about. That's more of a learned thing. I'm talking about what you are deep inside. The place where it's hard to label or even see sometimes. To get to the point where you can know yourself is important.
You might ask, "how can I do that?" You might be thinking how miserable you have been. But you haven't been able to put your finger on it. You might suffer from depression. Sometimes it comes from trying to be what you are not. From pushing so hard all of the time to be what others want from you. If you want to know you, do two things. Find time to be quiet. Find time to pray.
If you don't know how to pray, just think about how you talk to your friends and talk to God. In time, it will get to be a habit and a blessing. He knows you best. He likes to hear from you. He likes to answer your questions. And, He made you, so He longs to do whatever it takes to find who you really are and have you live that way.
It takes time. Don't give up. Don't get frustrated. Enjoy learning who you are and what you were made to be and do each step of your life. It grows and changes as you grow and change. But first, you have to know what kind of ingredients are in there.
blessings,
rhonda