Gotta Love Those Weakends

No. I am not spelling challenged. Keyboarding challenged a little bit, but not spelling. I know that difference between week and weak. Though the new generation texters might not. Abbreviations are so in vogue that it's hard to tell.
But my faux pas in purposeful. I am having one of those weakdays. Weakdays are the days when things are kind of slow and a little harder to do. Days where putting your arms above your head seems like too much. Days where you get up only to sit back down a few moments later.
Weakdays have the power to sap you emotionally because you are so focused on how consumed you are by your current illness or chronic illness or depression or pain or remorse or tiredness. They can take away the joy of the moment. Sometimes they become the central part of life.
But, they don't have to. Today is a weakday. I've had a cold. No big deal. But yesterday I borrowed energy that I should have saved up for today. I had an energy drink when I should have had a nap. I stayed up late when I should have gone to bed. I don't regret it an iota. I had a wonderful time hearing kids laugh. Watching people interact and play games. Talking with friends. Commiserating. Sharing. Got to go to class with my sixth grader. Have a nice meatloaf lunch on my pretty new dishes.
But, for me, those things all equal choices. Especially when I'm sick with a virus as well. My body isn't as strong as some. It hurts a bit. I know pretty well what I can and can't do. I know my allotment for each day or week. Kind of funny. But, the thing is that I find a pleasure that maybe healthier people don't find. I find that I know in my heart and soul that when I CHOOSE to do something, I am giving a huge part of myself. I am giving more than just my time. I am giving out of a limited amount of energy. It makes me think. Not usually to others. Ok, not to others. This might be the first time any of you have ever heard this.
But this is not a curse. Though I railed and screamed and fought against it. Though I have prayed for healing and answers. This is a gift. It is a gift of being able to see what things cost. It's the gift of being able to choose to spend the time. And of knowing that it wasn't a gift out of my excess. I like that.
Though most people don't realize it, I know that each choice for me is a minus of that days energy. Picking up the kids. Driving back to the school. Wrestling my daughter around. Planting grass seed. Making dinner. Taking a bath. Moving a chair.
And when I have a virus it's worse. And when I push really hard one day, I have to make up for it the next day.
I'm not looking for answers or sympathy. I am giving explanation to some of you for how I and many others live day to day. I am not sad about my life. I am exuberant. I probably appreciate my time more than people who have endless energy.
But I do love those weakends. There are those moments. They are rare. But, they occur......where I feel almost normal. Where I wake up in the morning refreshed. Or have an abundance of energy. I know, everyone lives for the weakends. I have learned not to. I have learned to live in the weakdays. To do what I need to do. And then, when a weakend comes, I am surprised and amazed and thrilled by it. I don't waste my other days lamenting that they aren't weakends.
I don't know where this finds you. I hope you are well. But if you find yourself struggling. Realizing that it's not a battle. Not a contest. Not a matter of who gets the most done. It's about being you and doing what you do and what you can do.
Strangely, on weakdays, I give myself more permission to write. Makes me feel productive when I am not up and about. I like it. It brings me pleasure.
If you are having weakdays, find what brings you pleasure and do it. Read. Write. Contemplate. Be still. Pray. Hope. Believe. Encourage. It takes very little energy to give to someone else.........you just have to be creative about it.
Here's to appreciating the weakends because of the weakdays!
blessings,
rhonda