PSALM 147 and ISAIAH 46

Where do you run when you need advice? When the world keeps pushing? When you are ill? When life isn't fair. When you hurt inside and out? As a christian, I tend to run to the Bible. However, I have to say that the last few months I have had a rather different relationship. I had found that my quiet times......times reading the Bible......were in my heart an obligation, a way to feel more as if I was being "good enough". I've had a really rough year. I have found most every foundation shaken. And frankly, I needed the God who loved me just like me. No frills. No performance. No abilities. No wonderfulness of my own.
And He has met me there. Without conditions. With great compassion. With love. And for most all of this time, I have run to Psalm 147 and Isaiah 46. He is faithful. He does not depend on what I do to remain faithful. Everything is about Him. He has a plan. He holds me. He does not need my strength to be impressed by me. He cherishes me, carries me, rescues me. That must mean He knows I need to be carried and rescued and He is not offended by that.
I used to think that somehow it was more pleasing to be more proficient. To be more godly was to follow a certain plan. A plan can establish good habits. But, following God according to some recipe tends to lead to arrogance rather than humility. Not humiliation. He never humiliates us. He gives us dignity though He sees us in the pit. In the slime. In the mire. But the best times of my life are when I see myself there and realize that honestly, there's nothing I can really do to be any better. I go from one thing to another. I'm no worse and no better than you. We are not perfect. We have stuff. We are, without once exception, people who have issues. For all of our lives.
But, the best thing that has happened to me spiritually is to find that He is completely faithful. "they stoop and bow down together; unable to rescue the burden, they themselves go off into captivity.".............."but listen..........you whom Ihave upheld since you were conceived, (before I was born), and have carried since your birth, even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
And I wonder why. How come. I am a mess.
"To whom will you compare me or count me equal? To whom will you liken me that we may be compared?.....remember this, fix it in mind, take it to heart, you rebels. .........I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning.........my purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please."
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit. The Lord sustains the humble.....His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love. ........."
He amazes me. He is satisfied with my weakness. He wants me to see it. To know that it doesn't matter to Him or to His purposes how well equipped I think I am or how strong or how smart. He wants me to see myself clearly so that I can see Him clearly. He wants me to know that it is by His strength and power that His renown, His reputation, His plan will be accomplished and made known.
And so, I am at peace. Not rushing around trying to be a super christian. Resting. Being held. Growing. Being nurtured. Feeling His cherished breath speaking hope to my soul. Night and day. Every moment. When I sleep. When I wake. Every stage. Never changing. Ever. Completely and fully dependable. Safe. Trustworthy.
I hope you have met this Jesus. Hope you have been introduced. He is not about a list of rules. He is about the deepest, most fulfilled relationship ever. He satisfies the longings.
blessings,
rhonda