I confess. I am a middle aged woman who is wondering exactly what my purpose is and will be as my children flee, I mean, leave the nest. I have enjoyed raising them. They are stunningly wonderful people to know. Seriously. I have no regrets for them. Oh, don't get me wrong. I blew it regularly. Yelled. Griped. Nagged. Misunderstood. Didn't love outwardly enough. All kinds of things. But, what I mean is that they have done well. They have made good lives for themselves. They are smart and able to make choices well. I don't always agree, but I don't have to with those older ones.....their lives, their choices.
But what does that mean for me? How am I defined? I wish that it were as simple as "I love God and want to seek what He has for each day." But that seems like a bit of a simplistic plan. I mean, I need to work. I need to contribute. I need to.........the voices keep coming.
But in those moments of brief silence, I hear THE voice. The one that has taken me through each stage of my life. Just follow me. Just be you. It will be enough. It will honor me most.
So, WHO AM I?
That has been my quest. Learning about who God made me to be. For real. Not who I become to keep people happy. Not the mask I don to keep the peace. And I struggle. I wish I had her gifts. Or her looks. Or her strength. Or her kindness. But, I got what I got. And I'm kind of learning to enjoy this woman I'm coming to know. She's spunky. She has courage. She loves deeply. She enjoys easily. She forgives. She protects. She is stubborn.
But what is the purpose of this package? I don't know yet. I get brief glimpses. But you know, I'm not afraid. I'm ok with my purpose for today. This moment. Tomorrow will have new and different purposes.
I look forward to them with anticipation. Come along and the journey with me. Find who you are meant to be. Revel in it. It is a lot more fun than trying to be who everyone expects.
blessings,
rhonda
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