Joy Grief

Have you ever thought that if you never cared, never had anything or anyone valuable, never risked....you would not be able to hurt?  To grieve?  And some people self protect.  Putting on the armor, holding up the shield, filling the moat and arm the cannons.  They do everything they can to keep their distance.  To keep from being hurt.  But it simply doesn't work that way.  Because in doing that.....they also get no joy.  No absolutely amazing connection.  Relationship.  They miss out on the messy....but they still suffer.  Because there is nobody to give them the good either.  It is true though.....joy means that you are opened up to grief.  A baby being born is perhaps the most significant moment in all of life.  And it opens up the mama's heart to every type of grief.  And it's totally worth it because of the wealth of joy that permeates every moment of experiencing that child.
Grief is just an aspect of loving.  Of caring.  Of being known and knowing.  It should not shock nor dismay us.  It should encourage us that we are good and open lovers in our world.  Grieve well.  Grieve healthy.  And love deeply.  From your very heart.  Without fear.  There will be hurts, but the pure joy that you will have experienced, will be a salve, a balm, good medicine that will keep the grief from overwhelming you.  Every laugh you shared.  Every memory stored.  They will soothe the time of goodbye.  The parting.  The hurting.  The things you learned.  And in some relationships, what you learned is that you need to BE loved better.  But that learning can be healing too in the time of grief.
We tend to live trying to protect ourselves from the things that actually heal us.  Because we are afraid of their potential to hurt us.
My experience?  It's easier to cope with grief when you gave all, loved dearly and went all out.......no regrets to deal with.
blessings.