Birthday Musings

Everyone keeps wondering why I announce that it's my birthday. I'm totally not shy about it. You can also ask my age and I will answer honestly. No problem. I announce my birthday to my friends because I spent too many years having kind of lousy birthday while waiting for someone to meet my needs.......wondering if they would do something special or whatever. And most of the time, nobody really remembered. And then I was hurt. Ridiculous. If I want to be miserable because nobody cared, then I have to at least give them a chance to care.......put it out there. I am learning as I get older that I am responsible for my own happiness. My husband, kids, family, friends make great memories and are wonderful to be around, but my happiness depends on my leanring how to verbalize what I need. Strangely, when I am able to do so, they almost always come through.....in their own ways and fashions. I love that. Also, I hate it when someone makes me feel badly about missing their birthday when they didn't even tell me it was coming up. I mean, what satisfaction comes from guilting someone? Well, ok, I am a mom and there is a bit of satisfaction there!! But in reality, the greatest satisfaction is when people you love and who love you back reach out and meet your needs. So that's why I tell them right up front that my birthday is coming. If they call on my birthday and didn't know, I stop them and tell them to wish me a happy birthday. Or I ask them to sing. Now, you are sitting there being very glad that you are not my friend. That's ok, I have a huge group of incredibly lovely people who reach out to me and make my birthday special....as a matter of fact, they make my days special. But I think that the reason I am so much happier as I get older has very little to do with life getting better and a whole lot about me getting better about taking responsibility for my own happiness. I can't change circumstances, but I can change how I see them and who I choose to allow to walk with me. I choose not to walk alone. blessings, rhonda

Spring has Sprung

Hi from beautiful Colorado.
The snow has finally reached Colorado this year. I took mykids up for a mountain stay and was amazed that we got snowed in by a couple of feet of snow. It was spectucularly beautiful and quiet. We were in a cabin with acres of forst around and plenty of good sledding. But it got me thinking how I have certain things in mind about what is expected.......in every aspect of life. For instance, I didn't think that well into Spring would I find myself shivering and sliding down the hill on a sled. I have expectations about seasons of the year. I also have them about seasons of life. I expect that I will be treated certain ways in relationships. Sometimes I find them colder than I would like. I find that instead of feeling the warm breeze through the palm trees, I am being blasted by a northern. So, what to do. Well, much like this recent trip to the mountains, I think it's all about choices. I could have wailed and moaned and made everyone miserable because there were clouds and snow....buckets of snow...wet clothes everywhere.....and yes, more snow. But rather than live in what I might have wished was, I lived in the present. " Wow, how cool, snowed in, we will remember this forever." We made s'mores and had the fireplace fired up constantly. We played games and played in the snow and watched movies. I read a couple of good books. It was a perfect time. It was a perfect time because we chose to make it a perfect time. What in your life is blasting away? Could you find something in the situation to embrace instead of fretting that your expectations are not being met? Try it. You might find it very freeing. Even if it seems awkward at first. Blessings, rhonda