It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Ok, it really looks a lot more like Christmas threw up. Remnants of this and that all over. But the lights are on the tree. You'd think I'd be working feverishly, but I'm hungry and disheartened. I am not so good at the whole vignette make it cute thing. It is pretty pathetic. Some women are so good at making their homes look good at every season.
Now, I like to move furniture. Paint it. Give me some great lawn furniture and I rock at making it fun. But this is so stinking hard. Somehow it loses it's appeal when it's so stressful. I wish that there were Christmas elves.......you know you would contact the North Pole in November and schedule a night to be away from home and when you got back the lights would be up and the pretties would not only be found, but displayed as elegantly as the most beautiful stores.
Perhaps it is also that I now am used to having so many different things to work with and this year I don't. I do get these moments of inspiration. But hey, I don't have tulle right here. Don't have the red and white ticking. I put lights on my tree that are pretty.......except at the bottom, somehow they suddenly started blinking. Did I mention that I'm not such a fan of blinking lights? But the bottom line is that this is something my college son and I have done together for many years. He has the patience and the savvy to make it look great. And so, on top of just feeling like I am the worst homemaker, I miss my kid. How good it is for him to be in college, to be flying and growing.......good for him, not so great for me.
Let's see, now what do I do with all of the stuff that is getting replaced by the Christmas stuff??? hmmm. Pack it in the boxes that the Christmas stuff came out of? Maybe so.
Christmas is a very good time. I love the season. But I also experience more deeply all losses, all pain..........I think that the season brings high emotions. High expectations, certainly. So, I will go back and see what I can do to make things prettier for my family. I do love them. Do love Christmas. Just have a hard time making the house feel right. And did I mention that I would rather be painting my family room. But not so much by myself. So, maybe when the boys get home.........tomorrow, since TODAY is the day to decorate and listen to Christmas music. That part, the music part, I am good at.:)
Funny how as women, moms, wives, we think that we should have all of the gifts. What a shock it is to grow up and find that the weaknesses that we always had are still with us. Well, at least I don't just hang pictures randomly on the wall because the previous owners left a nail there anymore. That's progress. By the time I'm 90...........
blessings.