Once Upon a Time

My kids are always saying, "tell about when I was little." But today one was asking if I'd told Kielan's story. I said, kinda. And did you send it to..........?
um, I'm not sure. Maybe. Let me check. But I couldn't check because it doesn't tell me who I tagged on my last note. So, it got me thinking. And here I am. Once again. At my computer.
I have not known Kielan for his whole life. I met him when he was four months old. But he was tiny. He was the size of my newborns. But he had this huge, interactive, wonderful smile. So it was very incongruous: big smile and interactive baby who was really tiny. It was really hard to figure out how old he was. But oh my, that smile. I will always remember it.
And I heard the story of how he was born at only about 3 pounds. He wasn't a preemie. Kielan had neonatal hepatitis and quit growing in the womb. His mama went in and had a c-section and spent several weeks at the hospital with him. All of that with a two year old at home as well. And they had just moved to a house that had to be completely remodeled. Kielan came home in the midst of living in a fifth wheeler.

All through his life, Kielan has amazed me. He was SO verbal. His vocabulary was huge at a very young age......and he loved to say "that's incredible". And he had a deep voice for his little size.
I remember how he would give away his stuff to other kids. And he always fought for the underdog. He had a bit of a temper too. He did not cave under pressure. He stood up. And, he often paid the consequence for it.

Kielan has never met a stranger. He would meet people at the park or the gas station or the store even as a young child and tell all about himself and his family and know all about them and theirs. He was incredibly verbal. Still is. :) He is the best guy at making friends. He sees people. What they need. How they think. Who they are. He is not superficial.

And there was that year I homeschooled him. Oh my, how he made me laugh. He would chew his toes while perched on a chair. When he decided to do schoolwork, he was awesome, and when he wouldn't want to, he couldn't be manipulated. He liked to draw and he could write a really good story. And could that boy catch a football. He seemed to really like our science experiments. I think that's because it was really interactive and he really liked describing what happened. He was loving and good at letting people know he cared.

But somehow, he didn't know how much he was cared for.

Kielan didn't have an easy life. For reasons that I can't really go into. But he is a fighter. He was amazing at karate. And when he was running, I thought he was going to be the kid to break records. And his ability to debate. He should seriously be a debate captain. He is smart. And frankly, if he doesn't know something, he can make up an answer faster than anyone.

But somewhere along the way, Kielan heard the wrong things. He got the message that who he was wasn't acceptable. Even to God. He got the message that some people are loved less because of their lifestyles or habits. And, being who Kielan has always been, he sided with the underdogs. But not only did he side with them, dress like them, befriend them, sadly, he became one of them because they accepted him where he was. With them there was no danger of being unacceptable. He could be a mess and it was ok. Funny how in the church that's not ok, but in a bar it is. Something wrong with that picture, doncha think?

And so began a journey of drug use and alcohol. Of hanging with people who dealt drugs and used drugs. But what you need to know is that honestly, Kielan has always been a good friend to people. A protector. A meeter of their needs. And his friends, well, many of them are in the same boat as he was. They somehow got locked out of the inside group that was succeeding and acceptable and the pride of society. And so, they made their own group, their own family. Healthy? No. Understandable? Definitely.

And Kielan began to question his faith. Question God. He began to make inflammatory statements to prove that the church was full of hypocrites who said that God loved everyone but really it was just a club for the goody two shoe sorts. And you know what? He's right in a lot of ways. Kielan has had a purpose in my life. He has made me grow. With Kielan I can't get away with false religion. Or with religion at all. Only relationship. With people. With God.

But, the drugs began to be more and more important and the people less and less. Out patient didn't help him. He simply learned to beat the system. He was on basic lock down at home.....watched 24/7 by an adult. And in only one day off of that, he went out with one of those friends he trusted most and got indescribably, horribly drunk. The kind of drunk that he would not have awakened from if he had been at a frat house or a friend's house. But Kielan was blessed. Kielan was taken to a hospital within minutes. He was helped to breathe. He had the alcohol pumped out of his system. He was put on on i.v. He was ok.

But he wasn't ok. Because the basic thing that put him in that hospital bed was still there. The feeling that the only place he was acceptable was with a crowd that was doing things that were going to eventually kill him......or his mind......or put him in jail. And there's not enough love or energy in the world to keep a kid safe when they are to that point. When they can't hear reason. When they can't see how incredibly valuable and precious their life is to so many.

And so Kielan is getting help. Kielan is at a Boy's Ranch. He will learn to work. He will do school work. He will have to be respectful. And, blessedly, he will be introduced to the God that he never really met. The God who accepts each of us right where we are, just how we are. Who looks at us through Jesus, not through blinders. Who sees exactly who we are, but is not put off. Who doesn't think that Kielan and his friends are any worse off than the kids on the honor roll or the kids in R.O.T.C. or the kids who lead worship band. He gets a chance to meet the God of miracles.

If you have looked at the pages and pictures from Master's Ranch, there's a sign that shows up. It says, "we believe in miracles." I sure do. Kielan could have died when he was born. Kielan could have died when he was 15.........but miraculously, he is still walking this earth.

I look around our city. So many hurting kids. So many hurting people. And I wonder what we are doing in our lives to help. Each of us. Are we sheltering the homeless? Are we speaking for the helpless? Are we fighting for the abused? Are we feeding the hungry? Or do we look for companies and rich people to do it for us?

The biggest thing that I noticed about the kids that Kielan was hanging out with was that they had learned how to disengage in order to not feel the pain. They used music, drugs, alcohol, style and avoidance. But it made me see how we do the exact same thing. We avoid the issues and spend our time talking about it. Praying about it. Having a committee meeting about it. We cover over the problems out of embarrassment of what the "good church" people might think.

What a crock. We're all just hurting, growing , learning people. All in different places in life, but all just a step away from homelessness, or addiction or death. None of us are "charmed". But we think we are. We live as if we have forever. And each day we get is just as much of a gift as Kielan's was. We don't know what car accident or robbery or fire or disease we have avoided by a hair's breadth. And so we assume that we are more blessed. More worthy.

We are all on the same ship. And we all have to work together to keep all of us ok. We have to see each other as we really are. Come alongside and help as we can. And simply be who we each were created to be. I won't ask you to write your heart out and please don't you ask me to do the accounting.

But I ask again. If there was only one last thing that you could do, what would it be??? Start there. It's probably the most important. And not to please others. But because it is your calling. Your purpose.

My purpose at this moment is to raise awareness of what kids in OUR world........not in foreign countries.......are going through. I have compassion for people all over the world, but right now, this is my focus. It is my drive. So I shall not waste the opportunity.

What drives you?? What gets you fired up? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Because eventually there will be a Once upon a time story about your life..........it's called an epitaph or maybe a eulogy. God wants to write a spectacular story of your life. Don't hinder Him. Go and LIVE. Do what it is that you do. I write. I help. I hope. I see. I speak. I give. That's me. Who are you?

blessings,
rhonda