It's a Big Big World

Remember when it was so exciting to enter the big world? It was as if anything and everything was possible. College was a marvel. I mean, all of the fun of being grown up without having quite so much responsibility. No kids. No husband. Just classes, work and me. And the world had so much to offer. Travel. Romance. Fun. Entertainment. Knowledge. And spiritually it was such a good growing time too.
When I was young, the idea of a big world was exciting and adventurous. I like the idea of experiencing it. I still do. But sometimes, the world seems too big. It seems like the heartaches and troubles overtake the joys, adventures and dreams. I'm not sure what changed. Actually, I am pretty sure. I have more people that I am responsible for. I have more people to hope for, to believe in, to feel their aches and pains as deeply as my own.
But, though the world seems too big sometimes, it is still not spinning out of control. The one who was in control still is in control. It hasn't changed. I have had to learn that sometimes people hurt. Much to my dismay. Don't you hate it when people you love hurt??? And sometimes they do things that hurt themselves. That isn't too fun either. But you keep on loving. I keep on loving. Though the pain in this big world is more than I ever imagined.
But by experiencing more pain, I have felt joy more deeply. The good is SO good. It is such a blessing. When a kid makes a right decision or something goes great for a friend. It's filling. It's satisfying. We can't control or manipulate. We can walk with and talk with and enjoy the people, but they make their own choices and choose their own ways. People are a gift to us. People are the number one source of growth in my life. Yes, for good reasons and not so good of reasons.
Lately, and for quite some time, the world has simply seemed too big. I kinda just want to grab a blankie and curl up and let it pass by for awhile. But, that's not going to happen. Ever notice if it's bad it tends to get worse? And I grow. And I change. And I learn how to hope when I don't see the answers. Because the thing is this: I am glad that it's a big world. I am glad that there are lots of choices and relationships and hopes and dreams.......even if sometimes it means that all of those things are hurtful. I love the creativity and spontaneity. I love how every person is different, though that causes strife. I love that there is a challenge. Love that every single person is facing the exact same challenge and handling it differently......the challenge of walking in the present circumstances that they find themselves.
It's a big world. You can fear it or you can embrace it, pain and all. Your choice. You get to choose for you. But I've learned......you don't have to be afraid of the pain, it simply makes the good better. Like sweet and sour. Or sweet and salty. Taste life. Live. What else do you have to do with your time???
blessings,
rhonda