My Husband is Simple

He is entertained by any little gadget. A free ear piece for the phone totally made his night tonight. And, if you let him fold laundry or straighten up his drawers or cut his own hair, he is quite ecstatic. Nothing makes him happier than being productive. He probably wishes that he could get work done in his sleep. He likes to watch t.v. only when he is doing another project. Unlike me. I like to curl up and enjoy the show. Leftovers are a joy for his simple self. I mean, choices and utilizing the very last bit of something brings him gladness. His chickens are a special source of delight. He spends an inordinate amount of time keeping them safe. This is after losing a whole previous set of chickens to the local fox. If there is a lawnmower to be tuned, he's your man. If I am gone on Saturday, so much the better because he can freely put the children into the free labor program for one of his current projects of choice. Chipping bricks, laying a path or toting things around the yard. And, if I'm gone he doesn't have to ask my opinion and act as if he cares, no he has complete freedom. That little simple thing brings him the most joy of all. He plays sport. He sings. He works. He takes care of his family. Really, he is very simple. Simply wonderful. Glad I met him. He makes me smile with his sense of humor and his accents and funny faces. He plays with our kids. He makes me feel pretty. He's simple. Just perfect for me. Simply perfect.
blessings,
rhonda

Winnie the Pooh Days

Isn't it amazing how little stories can absolutely make you understand life a little bit better? I love the Velveteen Rabbit. All about becoming real. But,for a wide range of life lessons, I always turn to Winnie the Pooh. I mean, how can you beat, “If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”? It's priceless wisdom. I love Winnie the Pooh and all of his friends. Winnie is a bear with fluff for a brain, but he is the best friend Piglet has. And he is faithful to all of his other friends too.
But special to my heart is Eeyore. I mean, who can resist the quiet, gloomy but sweet donkey who constantly loses his tail? Maybe it's because when he finds a little bit of joy, he is so calm, but so happy. "It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.
"So it is."
"And freezing."
"Is it?"
"Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately."
And when Eeyore loses his tail, he always depends on someone to find it for him. What I like best about when he finds his tail is his little dance move. I mean, don't you ever just want to do a little dance of joy?
And don't you often feel like Eeyore? Pathetic works for him. But it doesn't work in real life every day. Sometimes we have to step out from under the cloud. We have to choose a different character to emulate.
Perhaps we will have a whole tutorial on Winnie the Pooh characters. But not tonight. Because tonight I am a mom who needs some good rest before tomorrow comes.
blessings,
rhonda

Make A Difference

It sounds so profound. It's found on inspirational posters in classrooms and businesses all over the country. "Make a difference." Short. Complete. Or, is it? I mean, that is just like the phrase "be an example." Everyone is an example by virtue of living amongst others......what kind of example is what they have to choose. Make a difference is similar. From the moment your squalling body came into this earth, and even before that in the view of your parents and family, you have made a difference. Because you live, you make a difference. A difference in how much water is used.:) How much air is breathed. How much trash is generated. You make a difference in how many words are spoken. In so many mundane and important ways, you make a difference. But making something different does not necessarily mean making it better.
You can live your life as a low-impact, go green kind of person. A tree hugger. You truly can save the whales. Maybe. Or at least try. You make a difference by how much litter you refuse to throw down.........and even moreso by how much litter you pick up.
But lest you think this is about going green and saving the earth, it's not. It's about what really makes a difference. Because that is what each of us has to ask ourselves if we want to succeed at really living and not just taking up space. Some people show up, they make a difference because everyone has to take care of them and meet their needs. But others, they live. They make a difference by contributing something wonderful. Like Mother Theresa. I mean, she didn't set out to be something special. She says she just began by helping the person closest to her and then the next, and the next and the next. And now, a humble woman who had very little is known all over the world as perhaps one of the greatest humanitarians who ever lived. Her focus wasn't on being great, it was on being helpful, on meeting other people's needs.
I know, I'm no Mother Theresa either. That is a tall order to fill. Or is it? She just did the good that she saw to do in a day. In a moment. She didn't seem to sit around agonizing about whether she was making enough of an impact or crunching numbers to see how she could do more. I think that we have become so goal oriented that we fail to see what is right there in front of us. We fail to do the things today that make a difference because we are so busy worrying about where we will be or what we will be doing in five years. Or next year.
The thing is this........you only get today. I know it's morbid. I know it seems unkind. But you can't for sure say what will be in five years. Or tomorrow. Whether you will still be able to walk. Or see. Or even be alive. Or whether your loved ones will be. You don't know if you'll have more money. Or less. You don't know what the state of the world will be. The whole world is full of unknowns.
The way you make a difference is to start right now. Doing what you do. Make a moment better for someone. Smile. Clean up their yard. Paint their house. Build them a house. Habitat for Humanity is done one house at at time for a reason. Bend down and pick up the trash you didn't drop. Hang up the towel you didn't throw on the floor. Encourage genuinely. Make a meal and give it away. Buy milk for someone. Leave a funny card. Write an email. Wash the car. Bathe the baby. Bathe the dog. Clean up the dog doo. See what could be done and make it a point to do it. That makes a difference. But only if you do it with a tender, loving heart. A heart that knows that doing each thing gave you more than you can ever give to the other person.
If you really want to make a difference, start right where you are with who you are. Use your gifts, your skills and do something for those around you. Strangely, if we were to all start working like this, living like this, we would all have our needs met and we would all be fulfilled. Wouldn't that make a difference? It sure would to me.
blessings,
rhonda

Angel Friends

In good times, your friends are the angels that dance around in joy with you. They swing and jump as far as they can. They giggle and laugh and make the fun times even more fun. They challenge you and help you to grow. Your friends are the ones here on earth who have chosen you. They have no vow or familial ties to hold them to you. They simply stay because you are friends.
And when times get dark those same friends do the things that you didn't know needing done. Like the dishes. Or feeding the kids. They hold your hand or your head. They place a rag on your feverish brow. They run the vaccuum. They make sure you eat. They listen......and actually hear you. And they don't try to make it go away. Nope, they are content to be there as long as need be. Doing, visiting and protecting.
These friends are angel friends. Can't you just picture them with wings dancing around in joy? Or those same wings around a friend in pain or turmoil? Covering her over and singing to her until she feels better. Hey, I promise, if I'm your friend and you are not doing well, I won't sing to you...... I wonder how many of us have been visited by angels and been totally unaware. Visited by those sent of God to help and to protect. I'm sure that I have. I have seen them in my daily life. They have names. They have careers. They have gifts and talents. They choose to be my friend. Friend of the messed up, rather confused, immature, trying to learn, unable to figure it out woman who is obsessed with writing. And somehow, they make me feel special. Though I know who I am. And strangely, so do they. Somehow they make me see who I can be. They reach into the depths of my life with hands of love. They see me but they don't condemn. I have angel friends. I hope you do too. Moreso, I hope that we strive to BE those friends.
blessings,
rhonda

Meanie Heads

Have you met them? Those scary people who are just plain mean. They look like other people. They drive cars like other people. They talk like other people. They have families. They do not have horns. But they are meanie heads.
Meanie heads make life miserable. They are the people who flip you off when you drive the speed limit in the construction zone. The guy at the Elks club who runs out and yells at you that you can't park in one of those 40 empty spots to go get your coffee because it is Elks parking. So much for service club. They are the people who snarl when helping you check out. And worse, and more insidiously, they are people who act nice and pleasant and like they are your friend, but then talk badly about you or steal your ideas or unfriend you on facebook without giving you a chance to make up. The world is full of all kinds of meanie heads. And frankly, they must be miserable. To spend all of your time obsessed with making someone pay or hating your job or trying to malign another.......well, that's just no way to live. If you find yourself living there, GET OUT!!!
Live as a pleasant person. Smile at people daily. Give without expectation of getting back. Actually look in people's eyes. Do something completely kind and unexpected. Serve. Be humble. Did I mention smiling? Because smiling deserves to be mentioned again. Too many frowny faces out there. Wave. Be cordial. Be interested. Go out of your way to do something that will make someone else happy just because you know it will make them happy.
Oh, you thought this was about meanie heads? Well it is. By figuring out how not to be a meanie head, there will be one less meanie head in the world. Nobody needs meanie heads. They make life uncomfortable. But, unfortunately, changing one seems to be beyond human ability. They have to want to change. But, we can keep from becoming one. We can make a difference in the lives of those around us so that those we know are stronger and more secure when they have to face meanie heads. We can make plans on how to keep from becoming the dreaded meanie head. Because if we don't.........someone might be writing a blog about meanie heads and talking about, gasp, US! You have to plan for who and how you want to be. Plan to be a nicey.
blessings,
rhonda

Snap Out of It

Depression is a very real and a very serious condition. I am not going to be talking about clinical depression which requires meds and perhaps changes in lifestyle and diet. The depression I am talking about is circumstancial. Otherwise known as the gloomies. That's a heads up because I know about the other kind, and I would write nothing funny about it. It is serious and it is painful to everyone around.
That said, I have been thinking about depression, the gloomies. You know the feelings that come and threaten to overwhelm you. Sometimes it's just that life has brought some very unpleasant circumstances: broken relationships, death, illness, sick kids, bad meal at a restaurant, lack of money, or whatever is what brings you down. Sometimes it's PMS.......and what about when it seems to last for say, six months? "Yes, I'm grumpy, don't bother me about it!" You know, the people you want to tell to invest in the Midol company. And sometimes it's just inner loneliness. A feeling of walking all alone. But whatever causes it, it changes a time of life. It changes your view. It changes my normally rather happy demeanor into a meaner demeanor.
Strangely, nobody ever seems to want to admit that life stinks. "Oh, I'll be fine." "I'll work through it." It's as if somehow there is shame in painful emotions. "I'll snap back soon." Snapping back is as impossible as reelastizing the limp elastic in old undies. It just isn't going to happen. Toss those babies in the trash and head off to the store to get new undies. Or maybe, get new undies then toss those in the trash? Whichever, the point is, get rid of the undies that fall down and bunch up. Don't keep trying to make them work for you. And when you have the gloomies, well, covering them up doesn't really work. It's like spraying room deodorizer after changing a bad diaper, sure, it's kind of better, but not really. It's kind of icky really.
But what to do? I mean, nobody really wants to be around people who have the chronic gloomies. And, unless, as mentioned above, it's a more serious problem, the gloomies don't usually last forever. They are a season and even within the season they wane.
What I propose is embracing the reality of the situation. I AM GLOOMY!! Admit it loud and clear to yourself. Quit trying to cover it up. Quit trying to be super woman.......her outfit really wouldn't be that flattering on most of us anyway. Now, Wonder Woman......nah, don't try to be her either, you'd have to get used to those really big bracelets and wear poofy hair. So, quit trying. The outfit doesn't fit. I mean, who fights battles in heels and a swimsuit with lots of bling? Give it up. Let it go. You are not her. You are you. And right now, or in the future, you have the gloomies. Sigh. Snivel. Get some pathetic balloons. Tie them to your chair. Have a pity party. Allow yourself to mourn or feel sorry for yourself for some time. Plan to cry. No, sweetie, I don't mean a little cry where your mascara might run, I mean a big, slobbery, messy, the mascara rolled off and down your face thirty minutes ago and you have soaked a pillow cry. And when you are done, now don't be surprised by this, you will probably cry again. The first crying is finally releasing all of the gloomy feelings, the second seems to be where we mourn whatever it is that put us in the gloomy place. And then. No, silly, it's not over.......you forgot the food. Eat comfort food, junk food, whatever it is that makes you smile. Eating is a good thing. It replenishes all of the energy that you use up with the gloomies. Women know this innately. They are the queens of eating when stressed.
What should the venue be? Some people pity party alone. Depending on what's wrong, it's an ok option. Some people don't know they need a pity party and they need a friend to show up with a quart of Ben and Jerry's and some chips and dip and a huge box of tissue. Don't forget the balloons. The pathetic balloons are very important because the next day when you are feeling somewhat better, you will see those balloons, and I kid you not, they will make you smile. You will remember letting go of all of that emotion. Quit holding onto it. Quit pretending to have everything together. If you own what is really happening, you can be genuinely happy instead of fake happy. Fake happy makes other people uncomfortable. They know you are being witchy, but they can't say anything because you are pretending to be fine.
Put aside the pretense. Be you. You were made with emotions. You experience pain. You have to do something with it. And it's impossible to snap out of it. Don't forget those undies.
Party on.
blessings,
rhonda

A matter of life or death

It's so easy to get absorbed in the schedule of life........in the highs and lows. It's so easy to completely miss why we are here. Am I here to produce and do and make and create? Why yes. But not as I usually think. I am here to bring glory to God. To make him popular. I am here to have relationship with him now and in having it with him, to have better relationship with others too. God is relational. He desires us and our dreams and our hearts and our plans. And He desires our good. He's not a mean ogre. He is just. He doesn't smile on sin. It's easy to get self absorbed. I'm sure glad that He didn't.............he is actually enough all on his own, but He chose to love me, to love you, to die for us. To make having a relationship with me a priority. Amazing.So many thoughts going through my mind because I've recently come from a funeral of someone that I loved and admired. It was someone I looked up to because he had come to a place where he understood relationship. He made it a point to be thankful to people. He made it his habit to keep things right with his neighbors. He made an effort to smile and speak a kind word even when his pain was in the inconceivable range..........He made choices to honor God and to build relationships. He made me feel special though we didn't agree on everything. He was gentle when he had enough wisdom and knowledge that he could have been proud and harsh. I'm not thinking he was always this way..........but that he allowed God to keep on working through the years right up to the day he died. He said his apologies. He tried not to have regrets. He really worked to stay off of drugs that might have taken his mind away from him. He chose to walk as an example of what God can do in a life that chooses Him first. Lest you think he was perfect, nah. He was mischiveous and fun. Silly. Goofy even at times. He gave the greatest gifts. And loved doing it. His smile was good..........his laugh was awesome. His little word plays were a treasure. He just went out of his way to give another person a little smile in their day. He wasn't rich. But he was always willing to give to someone. He didn't have a massive home. His home always stretched to include anyone who would come. He wasn't afraid of the truth. Spoke it boldly. But he didn't make people feel belittled with his words. He was cautious with them. He grew through life because of a choice. A choice of Jesus. And sharing Jesus. He always shared His love first. By his own smile. His own words of encouragement. His own friendly visit. His walking around his neighborhood praying for his neighbors. But he was humble. Just a man. No great saint. But he shined. Because he shined, Jesus shined in the world brighter. I'm sure he yelled. I'm sure he grumbled. I'm sure he worried. I'm sure that he was impatient. Hey, he was married and raised 4 kids..........that's not easy! Oh, and was a apastor.......trials and troubles on every side. But even though I know he had those things. I know that that's not what his family and friend will cherish in their souls...........No, they, I will cherish that special feeling of having walked a little closer to Jesus by having walked with Jack. His life has changed mine. It makes me look at relationships and evaluate where I am. What can I do to walk closer to Jesus.........lots. I want to start now so that when the end comes, I will leave that light in the hearts of others. So that they will have felt good relationships and love because of me. Relationships are not easy. They are life. And life is messy. It's easy to hide. It's easy to avoid the truth. But since Jack's death I've come to cherish truth even more. To be told the truth by a friend is precious............because it comes from someone who sees you, knows you are not perfect, but is willing to stay for the long haul. And on the good side, it's really important to take lots of time for hugs and "good jobs" to those we walk with. From acquaintances to family, we all need filling up. We all need good strokes. Jack was good at that. I'm glad that I got to talk to Jack before he went to be with Jesus. I'm mostly glad that he got to talk to me. He spoke blessing into my life. I want to find how to speak blessing. Yep, a matter of life and death..............our death won't matter much if our life hasn't mattered to others.